Not Withholding Food

Yesterday an anonymous blogger mentioned that it appeared as though I had shifted my eating mentality from “eating for health” to “how much food can I withhold from myself.”

This comment really sat with me, and I have to say that I completely disagree with that assertion.  Healthy living is beyond important to me – my recent readings of Skinny Bitch, Bethenny Frankel’s Naturally Thin, In Defense of Food, among others have inspired me to make better choices in my meals.

I don’t think I’ve completely shared my story, but now seems like the best time.  My weight always fluctuated, but during my junior year of high school (11 years ago), following my parents’ divorce and a family member’s cancer scare, my weight soared to its peak.  I was working at an ice cream shop and was also Design Editor of our high school’s yearbook.  Between topping off leftover milkshakes and late nights snacking on pizza at computers – it was no wonder my jeans nearly reached a size 14.  My weight was a visible reflection that I was desperately unhappy.

My aunt gave me a present for Christmas that year where I could basically pick from a selection of items – shopping spree, concert tickets, etc.  But, I knew it was time for a change, and asked for an appointment with her nutritionist.

I remember the day clearly.  It was during my spring break, and when she asked me to step on the scale I was mortified.  I weighed in at 156 pounds.  On my 5’5” frame, I fell into the “Overweight” category on the BMI chart.  Overweight?

And to have a nutritionist – an outsider – tell me that I fell outside the normal range of good health really put a fire under me. 

She taught me to eat proteins with a snack, cut out sodas/juices, reduce my sugar intake and up my fruits and veggies.  I took the advice and ran with it.

When I came back to school for my senior year, I had lost 25 pounds and was a very healthy 130 pounds.  I got loads of compliments, which kept coming, and I inevitably took them too far. 

I thought if I cut out more foods I would lose more.  I did.  By my graduation I was 117 pounds – now “Underweight.”  A far cry from 156, and definitely much too small for me.  I had circles under my eyes, I was miserable, I was HUNGRY.

That summer before college I began working at a health club, began eating more and went off to college a healthy 126 pounds.

Now, we all know the ups and downs of college – and I definitely put on probably 15 to 20 pounds in those four years.

So here we are now.  I’ve realized I needed to eat for my health – not for the scale – that’s honestly when I’m the happiest, but in MODERATION.  Before my wedding I cut more things out of my diet than I should have – the scale was around 131 pounds.  I’ve since gained weight, and am trying not to rely on the scale, but for storytelling purposes, this morning I was 137.6 pounds, and again, I’m 5’5” (on a good day).

I’m being completely open and honest about my weight history to let you all know that I have had ups, I have had downs, but I have learned what is best for me.  Just because I have two bites of cake and give the rest to my husband does not mean I’m reverting back to withholding food – I honestly don’t like sweets that much – especially processed sugars – my facial cheeks get cold after three bites and make me uncomfortable.  It’s weird, I know.

I appreciate the feedback that ya’ll give me, and if something ever looks amiss, please ask me.  I know the idea of weight and scales is frowned upon on the blogs, but since there was genuine concern, I’m airing out the laundry.  I’m in it for health – believe me.  If I weren’t, I wouldn’t be eating all this:

Mid-afternoon yesterday the tummy was grumbling.  Clif Bar!

After work I hit the gym to run a quick two miles, and when I got home and started dinner I snacked on some Trader Joe’s Vegetable Crackers.

I had gotten some scallops on sale for $4.95, and thanks to the Joy of Cooking and a little modification I created this delcious dinner.

In a low pan I put some washed scallops tossed in two tablespoons olive oil and drained marinated artichoke juice.

I broiled them for 2 minutes, flipped them, and added this breadcrumb mixture.

• 1 1/2 Cups Bread Crumbs
• 1 Clove of Garlic
• Parsley to taste
• Salt to taste

I also added some chopped marinated artichoke hearts and broiled for 4 more minutes.

Atop some angel hair pasta.

With corn on cob on the side.

This dish was sensational!  The scallops were cooked perfectly – not too rubbery – and the marinated artichoke juice gave it a little tang!

I couldn’t finish all the pasta – here’s what was left. Seriously, it was a lot!

And what’s a meal without dessert?

I then wrote some birthday thank you notes, and got ready for today.

This morning’s breakfast included a Green Monster,

Half an English Muffin with Almond Butter

1/4 Cantaloupe

All together!

In other news: Kate Spade is having a ridiculous sample sale!  Head on over!